I Need the Two Heaviest Guys Up Front

There is nothing quite like waking up at 5 a.m. to get ready for a flight is there? You know how it is, you quickly take a shower to wake up, grab a quick bite to eat (or do what I normally do: run to McDonald's to grab an Egg McMuffin), and then dash out the door, so that you get to the airport on time, so that you can clear security, etc. Well, things are a little different in Jeremie, Haiti. Yes, we still got up at 5 a.m., and, yes, we did dash (sort of) out the door, and we did have a half-hour drive to the airport. But when we got to the airport (actually it was a strip of grass with some gravel on it), there was no security to clear, there were no ticket agents, and you could actually bring liquids onto the plane! But one thing was missing at the airport: our plane! Before long, however, he showed up. And then he announced: "I need the two heaviest guys up front." I looked around and saw that I came in about third place, so I didn't get to sit all the way in the front. (The heaviest guy actually got to be co-pilot, so next time I think I might have to bulk up a little.) "And I need the two lightest people in the back." I haven't qualified for lightest person on the plane since I was in diapers, so I knew that I was going to be somewhere in the middle. So we all snuggled into the plane (all nine of us), and prayed without ceasing (sometimes more often) as we went down the runway and then out over the ocean. As one light after another flashed and beeped, the pilot commented that we probably had too much weight on board (what did he think with a bunch of Americans!), but we should be fine. About 45 minutes later (or 11 hours and 15 minutes faster than the ship), we arrived in Port Au Prince to await our next flight. We didn't get any frequent flyer miles, nor was there in-flight service, but we had a beautiful view of Haiti on the way. And we all got window seats. And, hey, those window seat were also aisle seats, so top that, Southwest Airlines!